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Round 3: Updates, Inquiries; Truth or Friendship?

March 9, 2013

Updates, Inquiries

Finally got internet at the new place. Would have had it a couple weeks ago if I wasn’t such a lazy bastard. I get the feeling someone tried to screw me somewhere down the line, however. Someone came out to flip on a switch outside somewhere on Wednesday. Yet, no internet. I called Thursday to get to the root of the issue and the nice lady on the phone told me there was a “signal problem” and I’d have to drop the $50 for a “Professional Installation” to have the problem fixed. It seemed a specious claim, but I ran with it because I’m addicted to information and very nearly capped the data plan on my phone in the first week of March alone.

A very nice man came out today to set up my system and get to the bottom of the issue. He was most impressed with my ability to connect basic cables into my modem-router combo (sarcasm; I do IT for a living usually so he wasn’t impressed at all), and went outside to check on the “signal issue.” He returned, neat testing tool in hand, ready to fix my shit right up. However, after rebooting my modem I had instant access! Huzzah, right? Well, no. He said, quite plainly, that all he did was go flip the switch in the cable box that the guy was supposed to have flipped on Wednesday.

I don’t know if I’m already boned into paying the $50, but the guy who came out was professional and kinda funny, so I might let it slide regardless. Wasn’t his fault someone tried to rob me at web-point. Probably.

On a happier note, I’ve gone grocery shopping again and come back with more than ramen and beer! On a sad note, I have zero idea what to cook with chicken breast, spicy Italian sausage, mixed veggies, and various breads. Oh, also garlic and onion. I’m going to see what I can whip up without making something too inedible.

I’m really missing my chef friend right about now. Not that I wouldn’t be anyway, but her culinary skills would be incalculably valuable right now. She’s quite adept at making awesome meals from scraps. On that note, the titular inquiry: Anybody know a good place to find tasty recipes? Or does anyone have any ideas what to do with the ingredients listed above? Not that anybody reads this yet, but it can’t hurt to ask for future viewers. You can never have too many recipes.

Truth or Friendship?

There’s this neat little ditty floating around the annals that are groggily shared Facebook posts. You know the kind. There’s a neat story, a cuddly message, and everyone walks away feeling good. Well, a friend of mine shared one of those and I made the mistake of reading it. Upon realizing it was entirely bullshit, I set about making that information known in the comment section. The story, for posterity, is copy-pasted as such because screen shots get REALLY big sometimes:

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.


I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you?

Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH.

By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.

I’ve said somewhere that I won’t overtly discuss religious topics here, so I’m going to ignore the fact that the arguments present in this story are, on top of being wholly fabricated, bullshit; and address only the authenticity of the story itself; as below in beautiful, edited-for-privacy screen shot quality!


I, of course, am the red boxes. Some chick I don’t know is grey, and the friend who posted the story originally is green.

To the titular question: Truth, or friendship? Can the latter be legitimate without the former? Better to hold my tongue and not upset the balance, or was I justified in pointing out the nonsensical story’s falsehood?

I’m leaning toward: Truth, no, and the latter option; but it’s always nice to get other opinions.


From → Regular Rounds

  1. James permalink

    “If a friendship is destroyed by the truth, it didn’t exist in the first place […] There’s an awesome website for recipes that lets you search by ingredients. It’s” -a very wise man

  2. Bob permalink

    Correcting truth is one thing but being a douche in another. A simple response that would have corrected the truth but not caused hard feelings could have been something like

    “cool story/motivational story/whatever and all but it’s not actually Einstein who said that, he was and atheist/whatever” and copy pasta’d your article at the bottom.

    The fact is that everyone has different beliefs and friends, while they may not agree with each other, are sympathetic to their friends beliefs or take a kid glove approach when you do want to disagree.

    Otherwise you won’t have friends long, unless they are all like you. Then you could just take turns being douchebags to each other. That sounds fun.

    Too bad your friend doesn’t read your blog and tell you to quit being a bitch with your emotional roller coaster, that’s about the magnitude of a response you gave on her Facebook.

    • I was trying to take a very detached approach to my responses to the post. I made it a point – and I believe I even said it in the Facebook dialog – to not attack anyone’s beliefs. I just wanted to correct an inaccuracy.

      Would you like to point out exactly where I was being a douche in my transcript? I’m honestly curious. I thought I handled things quite calmly. A little detached, even. I was trying really, really hard to be nice about it.

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